Recently I recalled a funny “When I’m a parent I’ll never . . .” moment I had with my husband long before we had children. We were walking in our neighborhood and I saw one of those super fancy jungle-gym, playground apparatuses in someone’s backyard. You know the ones? Not the ones made of steel pipes like I had growing up, but the ones made of solid wood with a clubhouse on the top, swings on the bottom, and a rock climbing wall? Yeah, that one.
Author: Brenda Rodgers
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A Prayer You Should Be Praying for Your Daughter But Probably Aren’t
I have this friend who has something I want so badly but will never have. She has a lot of women in her life.
My friend has a sister. She has some aunts. She still has her mom. And she even has her grandmother. Not to mention the women on her husband’s side of the family, too.
What makes them even more of a blessing is that they all live fairly close to her, they’re all healthy, and they all spend a lot of time with her and her children.
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How to Leave a Legacy in a Single Woman’s Life
When you were young, say in your late teen years or early twenties, maybe even older, did you have a woman who came alongside you to “show you the ropes”? If you were fortunate your mom fulfilled this role, but let’s pretend she didn’t. Was there another woman who helped you prepare for marriage and life and family?
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Why It’s So Hard to Be Real with Your Friends
I typed the last word of my text and hit send. Then my heart raced, my palms began to sweat, and a knot grew in my stomach. Why did I just tell her all of that? I thought to myself.
The text message was to a good friend. A friend I respect. A friend I trust. A friend who gets me. But in that moment I felt vulnerable, like my closet had been opened a little too far.
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The Hardest Prayer You’ll Ever Pray Over Your Daughter
I sat at a table in my church and uttered my biggest fear as a mother to a counselor sitting on the other side. She looked at me and said, “And that may happen. But God is sovereign. You have to release your girls to Him with faith that He loves them and He knows what’s best for them.”
Tears streamed down my face.
My biggest fear was my daughters resist a relationship with Jesus and in their rebellion make choices that destroy their lives.
I’ve sat in pews at church with my jaw touching my chest in awe while someone up on stage tells their miracle story. Drugs, alcohol, promiscuity lace the speaker’s past until God stepped in, or she stepped towards God, and her life was transformed.
But if I’m honest with you, I don’t want that to be my girls’ story. I don’t want them to take the scenic route to God.
I know my daughters aren’t going to be perfect. I’m not hoping for perfection. I’m just hoping for life problems, not sin problems, to be the catalyst for their maturity in Jesus. Rebellion is not the route I want them to take.
“Do you think God will still use all of that for good if your daughters lead lives of rebellion?” the counselor quietly asked.
“Of course,” I replied, “I know that.”
Christians use language to make bad circumstances seem not-so-bad. How God uses everything for good. That a prodigal daughter’s story can bring other people to Jesus. How her life can change generational sin in a family and change its future. And that lives could be changed and saved through her life.
All of this is truth. The Bible tells us that God does use all things for good (Romans 8:28). It also tells us He is sovereign (Proverbs 16:9) and that He uses experiences to bring people to Him (Genesis 50:20).
But these truths don’t always comfort this mama’s heart when I know how grueling a life without Jesus would be.
Over the next several days I thought about my conversation with the counselor. I analyzed my fear to get to its root. God let me fret a while longer, then He began to peel back the layers until a series of questions came to my mind.
How badly do you want your girls to know Jesus?
To what extent will you accept God going in order to get to your girls’ hearts?
Do you want your girls to just know Jesus through knowing Bible stories, or do you want them to have a growing relationship with Him?
Are you more concerned with their lives being easy in this world or with their souls being in heaven?
Conviction set into my heart.
My fear revealed that I was more concerned about my daughters’ lives than about their souls. I didn’t want them to have a relationship with Jesus because He died on the Cross for their sins but because I wanted their lives to be free of rebellious drama.
I confessed my impure motives to God.
Then I began praying the hardest prayer I’ve ever prayed over my daughters.
Lord, do whatever it takes to get them to You.
Do you mean whatever, whatever? Like even if that means I have to allow a time of brokenness, wandering, rebellion, sadness, consequences, and possibly bondage to sin to get to the deepest parts of her heart?
Yes, Lord, whatever it takes.
The dream I had for my daughters’ lives stopped being an idol to me. I stopped trying to manipulate a relationship with Jesus in order to protect them from the consequences that come from poor choices.
Instead I prayed for them to have a growing relationship with Jesus because of what He already did for them – not for what He could do for them in the future. I gave God their lives and asked Him to do with them whatever it takes to accomplish His will. My daughters’ souls being in heaven for eternity with Jesus became most important.
Will you pray this prayer with me?
Lord, this is the hardest prayer I’ve ever prayed for my daughter. I ask You to do whatever it takes – take her wherever You have to take her, make her whatever You have to make her – to get her to You. A relationship with You for eternity in heaven is what I desire above all else. Do whatever it takes to get her there. Amen.
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Why I Have a Hard Time Recommending Marriage
This past June I celebrated my eighth wedding anniversary. Every year I say it may be only eight years, but we lived a lifetime of marriage in those eight years, so we might as well be going on fifty years. If you don’t know our story, my husband had a heart transplant two years after we were married. Combine that with other life stuff and you have a lifetime of marriage.
