A few months ago I received an email asking me if I wanted to host a giveaway for Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl. The moment I read the title I thought to myself, “I could have written that book!” Yes, I was a boy-crazy girl to say the least! Then I read the subtitle, and it described me even more – “On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom.” Believe it or not, that describes me, too. Even though I’m married, I’ve been slow to learn those hard lessons of neediness, which is really a form of idolatry. That’s why I consider myself a “recovering single.” I sure wish I had this book several years ago.
Category: Faith
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Lies Women Believe about Priorities :: Summer Online Bible Study
This week we’re starting chapter 5 – Lies Women Believe about Priorities. If you missed a week or a handout, you can get all of them here.
Download the handout here –> Lies Women Believe About Priorities Chapter 5 Chart
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net This week in our study of Lies Women Believe, we’re moving away from three foundational lies women believe – Lies about God, Lies about Themselves, and Lies about Sin – and we’re moving into more practical lies women believe. The first are lies women believe about priorities.
Do you believe any of these lies about your priorities?
- I don’t have time to get everything done I’m supposed to do.
- I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.
- A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
Personally, I struggle with the first two at times. The third one I’ve never really bought into. However, I feel the pull from our culture to start believing it all the time.
I want to talk to my single readers right now because you may be thinking, “Why do I need to even be thinking about being a wife and mother when I’m not a wife or mother?” Well, this is why.
Since I was a little girl I wanted to be a full-time homemaker. I also wanted to go to college, but I didn’t plan to climb the corporate ladder. Even from that early age I had (and still have) very strong convictions about staying at home and raising your children full-time.
I majored in education and became a teacher because I thought that would be the best career for a family just in case I wasn’t able to stay home; you can leave at 3:30 everyday and you get summers and holidays off. Well, I didn’t pray about this decision (which is another blog post for another day), and I quickly learned that even though my top spiritual gift is teaching, I hated teaching children in public schools. I know I shouldn’t use the word “hate”, but I really can’t think of a better word. It was rough.
I was a single woman late into my twenties and into my thirties, so I taught to support myself, and ended up teaching for 13 years. Finally, my dream was coming true. In my late 30’s I was married and expecting our baby girl. I was going get to be the full-time homemaker I always wanted to be. Except for one small problem.
My husband didn’t want me to stay home with our baby girl. He wanted me to work outside the home. The idea of staying home was foreign to him. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Why didn’t you talk about that before you got married?” Well, you’re right, and again that’s another blog post for another day. I did mention it when we were dating, but I didn’t make my convictions about staying at home with our children clear enough.
So why do you, as a single woman, need to think and pray about your role as a wife and mother and your career? Because when you are headed towards marriage, these questions will be important, and you will need to know where you stand on them apart from the influence of love. And even after you’re married you will find that the voices about women’s roles inside and outside of the home are loud. If you don’t know what God has called you to do, then you may begin believing the lie that a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
“However, according to 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, women who are unmarried are still called to be ‘homemakers,’ though in a different sense. They are to devote their energies and efforts to building the household of faith; they are to live selfless lives that revolve not around their own interests and aspirations, but around Christ and His kingdom.” Lies Women Believe, p. 127
What do you think? Do you struggle with any of these lies about priorities?
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Lies Women Believe about Sin :: Summer Online Bible Study
We’re on chapter 4 on our Lies Women Believe Summer Bible Study this week – Lies Women Believe about Sin. You can get all the handout’s here.
Download the handout here –> Lies Women Believe About Sin Chapter 4 Chart
I think that from the outside looking in, maybe from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know Jesus, I look like I have my act together. At the moment I don’t struggle with any of the, what you would call, “big sins”. I don’t have a problem with partying or alcohol or smoking or drugs or promiscuity or pornography. I’ve never even been one to cuss.
No, instead my sins lie on the inside where no one can seem them. I struggle with things that people may not even think of as sin but instead just think of as human nature – pride, jealousy, haughtiness, gossip, eating for comfort, having a critical spirit. I could go on, but I won’t.
I often think that when a person submits her life to Christ and becomes a Christian, it’s the outside sins that God deals with first. You know the ones that aren’t socially acceptable. The partying stops. The alcoholic gets sober. The drug addict goes into recovery. The promiscuous girl settles down. And suddenly there’s clean talk from their mouth. This is when you may think you’ve arrived and all of your sin is taken away.
Then you find there’s a whole other group of sins hiding, that no one sees, and you realize the depth of your brokenness. With full intentions of not comparing yourself to the cute girl in class, you compare yourself anyway. Jealousy hangs there and then leads to hating her even though you don’t even know her. Or you find being critical or gossiping after promising yourself that next time you’d just keep your mouth shut.
Sometimes I tell myself that my sins are not as bad as other people’s “bigger sins” and so they’re no big deal. “At least I don’t party, smoke, drink, cuss, or sleep around, right?” This is what goes through my mind. The funny thing is I don’t feel any “cleaner” for not doing these sins. In fact, I feel just as messed-up. Why? Because “my sin isn’t as big and is no big deal” is a lie that Satan wants us to believe to keep us separated from God.
At the core of our being we are sinful people and without Jesus there is no way to make ourselves right again. All sin, even sin at our core, separates us from God. The longer we walk in our relationship with Jesus, the more we realize just how dependent we are on Him for our every breath. Awareness of our sin because greater and our brokenness becomes too much to handle.
I’ve come to realize that these “little sins”, that aren’t little at all, keep me in just as much bondage as partying or sleeping around or whatever. Even though the consequences might be different, my little sins carry just as much weight as bigger sins. This is the truth that God wants me to remember, and the truth that will set me free.
Share with me! Do you believe the lie that your sins aren’t as bad as other people’s “bigger sins”?
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Lies Women Believe about Themselves :: Summer Online Bible Study
We’re starting chapter 3 of Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss today for our Summer Online Bible Study! If you didn’t download chapter 2’s handout, get it here.
Download the handout here –> Lies Women Believe About Themselves Handout
The other day I got off the treadmill at 5:48 in the morning. It was the first time back after a long winter hiatus from running. I accomplished my plan of getting up early. That was a positive. And I was on the treadmill for 30 minutes – the goal I had set for myself that day. But despite getting up early and meeting my goal time, I still couldn’t get one thought out of my mind.
I didn’t run the whole time. A few times I stopped and walked.
I call myself a runner because if I’m going to exercise I’m going to run. You get the most bang-for-your-buck with running and for someone who would rather not exercise, running is the way to go in my opinion. I don’t call myself a runner because you won’t see me in 20 degree weather crushing snow in running shoes. Nope. If it’s not at least 55 degrees I’m not happy about running. So I can’t be put in the “runner” category with those who pound the pavements season after season even though they live in North Dakota. Those are the real runners.
Even though I might be in the “casual runner” category, I still like the thrill of going a little farther, beating my fastest time, and buying new running shoes. And I’m a casual runner whose perfectionism is not lost on the treadmill or on the pavement.
Once I start, I don’t like to stop until I’m done.
A few years ago I ran a half marathon. I didn’t care about my time during that race. I didn’t even care who finished before me. All I cared about was that I didn’t stop running. That was my goal, and that day I accomplished my goal. I ran for over 13 miles, and I never stopped to walk. Slowed down? Yes. Stopped? No.
I sat on the floor, that morning at 5:48, and untying my shoes I felt like a failure. “Why did I even get up early?” I asked myself. “It wasn’t worth it. I’ll never be good enough again.”
This is not the first time I’ve had an all-or-nothing approach to my life – a mentality that I have to be perfect and perform perfectly or else all is worthless. Most of the time I feel I’m not good enough.
But do you know, every time I’ve thought these words I’ve been right. I’ll never be good enough because my standards for myself are too high. In many ways they’re even higher than God’s for me.
I’ve come to realize that this “I’ll never be good enough” attitude is really a disquised form of pride. By setting my standards higher than God’s standards for me, and then trying to accomplish them in my own effort, I’m declaring that my ways are higher than God’s ways, and I’m good enough to do life on my own.
This is why I desperately need Jesus.
The Cross fills the gap for our imperfections. It allows us to be ourselves – imperfect but redeemed people who are constantly on the journey to holiness. But we live as though our personal standards for ourselves, and even sometimes other people’s standards for us, are higher than God’s grace. We think that we must make things happen in our lives when really we can’t. Only God’s grace through us can.
Are you telling yourself this same lie – I’ll never be good enough? Go ahead and admit that it’s true, and then allow that truth to send you to Jesus who makes you good enough.
Talk to me . . . what lies about yourself do you believe?
Use the handout above and the outline in this post to replace your lies with truth.
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Weekend Prayers and Links
Okay, so we started our Summer Online Bible study this week, and it is so awesome! What’s awesome about it is that God brought 30 women to our group! We are different in so many ways, but our heart for demolishing the lies we believe and replacing them with truth is the same! It’s not too late to join if you’re interesting! Find out more here!
I thought it would be fun to do a “5 Things I Just Learned about Myself” list. I know these lists are cheesy, but for some reason I love them! One went around last year on Facebook, (Did you jump on that bandwagon? Well, I did!) and I learned more about my Facebook friends from those lists than I ever would have otherwise. So here I go . . .
5 Things I Just Learned about Myself:
I just learned that . . .
1. I don’t like blackened-seasoned food. I don’t like blackened shrimp or scallops or chicken or pork or any other meat for that matter. I tried to like it, but I just don’t, and I feel liberated, in a sense, for finally admitting it.
2. Perfectionism is the culprit for my indecisiveness. Okay, so I’m in the store for an hour looking for a gift for someone. I buy a gift. Then I get home and can’t decide if it’s the right gift. So I return the gift and get another one. Throughout this whole fiasco I’m asking myself, “What’s wrong with me?? Just buy a gift! Who cares!” Then it hit me. I’m paralyzed with indecisiveness because I have to get the perfect gift. And . . . others have to know it’s the perfect gift. Ugh! Yes, I’m working on it. Or better yet, God’s working on it through me. #LiesWomenBelieve
3. In theory I want perfectly painted, manicured fingernails, but in reality they drive me crazy. Yeah, my perfectionism problem is weird. It’s not in all things, and it’s not in fingernails. I love the look of nail polish. But without fail, one day later it’s chipped and I’m irritated I spent $20 on a manicure for 24-hour nail polish.
4. I can’t read The Jesus Storybook Bible without crying. So really, whether you have kids or not, get this Bible. If you’ve ever struggled with understanding the Bible or accepting that God loves you, then you need this Bible. Just be sure to have a box of Kleenex nearby.
5. I always thought that all I wanted to be was a wife and mother “when I grew up.” Now that I guess I’m as grown as I’ll ever be, (I still feel like I am a 25-year-old mind in an almost-38-year-old-body) I realize that I love being a wife and mother, but there’s many other things I hope to do, too, in my lifetime. My regret is that I didn’t figure this out when I was single so that I could have spent my time more wisely.
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Lies Women Believe About God :: Summer Online Bible Study
Today’s the day! We’re kicking off our Summer Online Bible Study and replacing lies we believe with God’s truth! It’s not too late for you to join! Head over to the Facebook group here.
So this is how it will work. Each Wednesday I will introduce the chapter for the week and post the PDF handout that includes the scripture readings and homework. I encourage you to write out the truth for each Bible verse on the handout. If you don’t want to write out the truths for every Bible verse for ever lie, then just write out the truths for the lies you struggle with personally. Then, join the conversation in the comments here or in the private Facebook group.
Today we are starting with chapter 2:
Download the handout here –> Lies Women Believe About God Handout
