I don’t usually write about breastfeeding, but for some reason I feel the need to explain myself. Twice in the past few days I’ve had to tell this story, and I’ve told it many more times before that. It’s much easier to write a blog post than to tell the story over and over again, so I guess that’s why I’m sharing this way. This is how I became a breastfeeding mama . . .
Category: babies
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When You’re About to Have a Baby
Tonight I went to get take-out for dinner for our family. All the way home I cried. Not just a trinkling of tears but tears that cloud your eyes and make your shirt – or in my case belly – all wet. It could have been the song “I Will Never Leave You” on the CD I was listening to that a friend just gave me at my Baby Sprinkling.
It could have been that two weeks until my due date I can’t walk up stairs without having to stop, my toddler can no longer sit on my lap, or a deep fatigue has set in like I could sleep for days. Or it could have been that I was anticipating what’s to come. The pain. It’s going to hurt. Bad. And that’s scary.
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Why We Give Our Daughters Three Names
You may have gotten a small word that a few weeks ago Prince William and Duchess Kate welcomed their second baby. And like monarchs previous, the new princess received three names – Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.
Last week we, too, named our second daughter due October 1st. She also has three names and so does our first daughter. Of course in our minds our baby girls are ever as much princesses as Princess Charlotte, but that’s not why we gave them three names. Frankly, our reason is much less romantic than following royal tradition.
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Why I’m Announcing My Pregnancy at 5 Weeks
** An update to this post. I miscarried my baby at the end of November. You can read the whole story in this post “The Miscarriage :: Another Chapter in My Story”. Thank you for all of you who prayed for us during this time. God is good all the time. To Him be the glory.
** This post might also be helpful – “How to Help Someone During a Miscarriage“.
I thought this time would be different. During my first pregnancy, I was fearful of announcing my pregnancy too early, and then losing the baby. As I grappled with this feeling I wrote a guest post entitled “The New Rules for Announcing a Pregnancy“. But I still played it safe. Last week I looked back at my Facebook timeline, and I believe it was around week 10 that we announced it to the world. That’s probably fairly standard, I’m guessing. The heartbeat’s confirmed by then.
Two weeks ago two lines on the little plastic stick showed up again. And right along with them so did the fear. This time maybe even more so. Now I know all that can go wrong. I have an insider’s view of how miraculous every little finger and every little toe truly is.
So I contemplated. Maybe I should protect myself, follow the advice of those who have walked the path of losing a baby, and just keep it to myself for a while?
But then there was another thought.
Eternity is now set in my womb. For now and for forevermore I will be a mom to two babies, whether I ever lay eyes on one of them or not. I am a co-nurturer with God to bring bodily life into a soul that is already alive. A soul that has been in the mind of God before He created the first ever molecule of His creation (Jeremiah 1:5).
I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here, in this space, but those that know me really well know of my passion for the sanctity of life. I do not agree with abortion for any reason. I do not agree with artificial means for conception. I do not use the birth control pill. I do not agree with embryonic stem cell research. I do not agree with capital punishment.
I do agree with embryo adoption.
However, my fear did not support my conviction that life begins at the nanosecond of conception (Psalm 139:16).
Sometimes when I’m afraid of something I’ll take myself down the path of what I fearful of. In this case I took myself down the path of losing my baby. Just typing those words makes me cry. What I found as I went down that mental scenario was the feeling of shame. If that happened, I would feel shame, like something is wrong with me. I’m not sure where the feeling of shame is coming from, and I need to delve more into it to see, but at the root of shame is the idea that I’m in control in some way. That I am the one who makes life and sustains life. But nothing could be further from the truth. God is sovereign. He is the One who makes life. He sustains life. I am only the vessel He uses to bring it forth.
As I considered what might happen, I also thought about how painful it would be if I had to then tell people again and again, over and over, for weeks that I was no longer pregnant. Would I bust out in tears every time, in the same way I am right now with merely writing this post? How would I get through that pain? But there again, I remember, God is sovereign. God is sovereign in my joy and He is sovereign in my sorrow. He will equip me fully. I don’t have to give myself the words or hold myself up. He’s sufficient.
I won’t try to protect myself, but I will honor the sanctity of life God has bestowed upon me. It’s not about me and my fears or feelings. It’s all about Him. His plan. His will. His desires. His sovereignty.
And it’s about this baby.
God has a purpose for my baby even now as he or she grows. Part of that purpose has already been revealed. To bring us joy. Our baby has already brought us so much joy in only a few short weeks. Our baby has excited our toddler girl. Our baby has caused us to fall a little harder to our knees in prayer to our Heavenly Father.
So today I’m announcing to you that I am no longer a mom of one, but I am a mom of two. There is a new soul on this earth, and he or she is growing inside of me. We are filled with joy! The Lord has done great things for us!
We’re looking forward to July 2015!!Your prayers are beyond coveted and appreciated. Thank you!
What today do you need to trust God with, without fear, by trusting in His sovereignty, and by holding onto the convictions He’s given you?
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Lullaby Confessions: Tropical Encouragement – A Review and Giveaway!
Our baby girl is about to celebrate her first birthday in only a few months. I cannot believe it! She is growing so fast, and it is amazing to watch the world unfold through her eyes. When she was a tiny infant I was introduced to the soothing music of Lullaby Confessions. And now that she is a “big” baby, she loves their music just as much! Especially their new album “Tropical Encouragement”.
I had the opportunity to review the Lullaby Confessions: Tropical Encouragement album with my baby girl. This time letting her hear a new album was a different experience because she can actually interact and respond to the music now. As soon as it started playing she started moving her shoulders back and forth swaying to the sound, and a big grin came upon her face.
What I like most about Lullaby Confessions is that it’s great for any time that you want your children to start slowing down or resting. We listen to it while I’m nursing her or when she’s eating in the high chair. Sometimes when she’s fussy I will turn in on too. I imagine myself even playing it for her when she’s older during homework time or before bed.
The new album “Tropical Encouragement” has a beachy, island sound which is very unique and fun. It also has uplifting and positive lyrics perfect for little ears, and includes several different musical instruments along with vocal.
Whether you have babies or toddlers or even preschool and young school-aged children, Lullaby Confessions is the perfect music for your children, and I am thrilled to be giving away one free download of Lullaby Confessions new album “Tropical Encouragement” this week!
Enter to win below, and be sure to share with your friends!
** I was given free music for this review. There was no monetary compensation, and all of the opinions are my own!
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5 Minute Friday :: Wonder
Welcome to 5 Minute Friday where we write for five minutes – no editing, no fretting, no criticism – we just write about one word. Join us today with Lisa-Jo and dozens of others as we write about Wonder.
About nine months ago it all started. I looked down to see two lines on a little plastic stick. And I began to wonder.The days ahead unknown. Who was this tiny soul now living inside of me? Was she a she or was he a he? How big would we get? Is it going to be that painful, really, pushing life from inside out into the world? What if I can’t do it?
I knew that when I saw the leaves change the time would be near. Driving down the two-lane road towards our house colors of red and orange, gold and brown adorned the grassy sides. My sign that it was time.
The wonder continued.
I held her all blue and bloody close to me that November day. She shivered and I shhhh’d as I patted her leg and they dried her off. With the cut of the cord I wondered some more. No longer attached to me physically it was the first sign of her journey. The journey God had ordained hundreds of days before.
I wonder where He will take her.
Now it’s late at night. I look down and she slurps, gulps, and pauses – not in a hurry for anything. I hear the heat come on and off. Outside is dark. Inside is silent. I want to freeze time. I notice the wrinkle above her nose is almost gone. I knew that when I saw her wrinkle disappear I would know she was growing bigger.
I lift up a prayer for this baby girl now in my arms growing with each slurp and gulp, and I wonder about her days ahead. Days already written, already planned, not a mystery for Him, just for us. And I wonder what her purpose will be in all of this. All of these days now set before her that will one day be a signature on eternity.
Whatever her purpose. Whatever the reason she’s here. God already knows. It is one that only she could fulfill in these years she’s given.
I continue to wonder.
What is it today that you’re wondering about?
