Brenda Rodgers

Category: pregnancy

  • Why I’m Announcing My Pregnancy at 5 Weeks

    ** An update to this post. I miscarried my baby at the end of November. You can read the whole story in this post “The Miscarriage :: Another Chapter in My Story”. Thank you for all of you who prayed for us during this time. God is good all the time. To Him be the glory. 

    ** This post might also be helpful – “How to Help Someone During a Miscarriage“.

    I thought this time would be different. During my first pregnancy, I was fearful of announcing my pregnancy too early, and then losing the baby. As I grappled with this feeling I wrote a guest post entitled “The New Rules for Announcing a Pregnancy“. But I still played it safe. Last week I looked back at my Facebook timeline, and I believe it was around week 10 that we announced it to the world. That’s probably fairly standard, I’m guessing. The heartbeat’s confirmed by then.

    Two weeks ago two lines on the little plastic stick showed up again. And right along with them so did the fear. This time maybe even more so. Now I know all that can go wrong. I have an insider’s view of how miraculous every little finger and every little toe truly is.

    So I contemplated. Maybe I should protect myself, follow the advice of those who have walked the path of losing a baby, and just keep it to myself for a while?

    But then there was another thought.

    Eternity is now set in my womb. For now and for forevermore I will be a mom to two babies, whether I ever lay eyes on one of them or not. I am a co-nurturer with God to bring bodily life into a soul that is already alive. A soul that has been in the mind of God before He created the first ever molecule of His creation (Jeremiah 1:5).

    I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here, in this space, but those that know me really well know of my passion for the sanctity of life. I do not agree with abortion for any reason. I do not agree with artificial means for conception. I do not use the birth control pill. I do not agree with embryonic stem cell research. I do not agree with capital punishment.

    I do agree with embryo adoption.

    However, my fear did not support my conviction that life begins at the nanosecond of conception (Psalm 139:16).

    Sometimes when I’m afraid of something I’ll take myself down the path of what I fearful of. In this case I took myself down the path of losing my baby. Just typing those words makes me cry. What I found as I went down that mental scenario was the feeling of shame. If that happened, I would feel shame, like something is wrong with me. I’m not sure where the feeling of shame is coming from, and I need to delve more into it to see, but at the root of shame is the idea that I’m in control in some way. That I am the one who makes life and sustains life. But nothing could be further from the truth. God is sovereign. He is the One who makes life. He sustains life. I am only the vessel He uses to bring it forth.

    As I considered what might happen, I also thought about how painful it would be if I had to then tell people again and again, over and over, for weeks that I was no longer pregnant. Would I bust out in tears every time, in the same way I am right now with merely writing this post? How would I get through that pain? But there again, I remember, God is sovereign. God is sovereign in my joy and He is sovereign in my sorrow. He will equip me fully. I don’t have to give myself the words or hold myself up. He’s sufficient.

    I won’t try to protect myself, but I will honor the sanctity of life God has bestowed upon me. It’s not about me and my fears or feelings. It’s all about Him. His plan. His will. His desires. His sovereignty.

    And it’s about this baby.

    God has a purpose for my baby even now as he or she grows. Part of that purpose has already been revealed. To bring us joy. Our baby has already brought us so much joy in only a few short weeks. Our baby has excited our toddler girl. Our baby has caused us to fall a little harder to our knees in prayer to our Heavenly Father.

    So today I’m announcing to you that I am no longer a mom of one, but I am a mom of two. There is a new soul on this earth, and he or she is growing inside of me. We are filled with joy! The Lord has done great things for us!

    Why I'm Announcing My Pregnancy at 5 WeeksWe’re looking forward to July 2015!!

    Your prayers are beyond coveted and appreciated. Thank you!

    What today do you need to trust God with, without fear, by trusting in His sovereignty, and by holding onto the convictions He’s given you?

  • Brave is the Woman Who Bears Her Unplanned Baby {Five Minute Friday}

     It’s that time again. Time to join The Gypsy Mama – Lisa-Jo Baker – and several other writers to write for five minutes on a certain topic. Today’s topic is Brave. This post comes from the depths of my heart. I am in a season of deep grieving for aborted babies right now. Brave is the woman who makes a different choice. You are the bravest woman I know.

    Five Minute Friday

    I do not have any inkling of what it is like to carry an unplanned baby. I will not even attempt to describe that feeling except to say there must be fear. There must be uncertainty.

    But when I held my own first-born for the first time I had a glimpse of what it might feel like for someone to come by and take her out of my arms. For permanent. The thought made the tears well, my stomach knot, even fighting gloves come on.

    I thought about all those women – those brave women – who make the choice to bear their unplanned babies only to have someone take them away – for good.

    Brave.

    Those women who selflessly lay their own ridicule, belittlement, and shame aside to deliver into this world the soul placed within them when they could have made a different choice.

    Brave.

    Those women who for nine months endure the glares, listen to the lectures, stand in the face of the unknown knowing that they can’t provide in nine months but there’s Someone who can.

    Brave.

    Then I think of Mary. Wasn’t she one of these women? Sure, the circumstances were different, but were the feelings not the same? One thing that she had further against her was an even more relentless culture. But she trusted. She trusted God.

    Brave.

    For any woman who decides to bear an unplanned baby only to give him to someone else to hear the coos and see the smiles and smell the sweet baby breath, you are brave.

    For any woman who decides to bear an unplanned baby only to keep her not knowing how you will provide, not knowing where the food will come from, not knowing if you’ll be safe, you are brave.

    You are brave for taking the more fearful path. You are brave for not accepting a quick fix. You are brave for taking responsibility. You are brave for looking head-on past this temporal world and into eternity. You are brave because you trust. You are the strongest kind-of-a-woman I know.

    You are brave.

    Brave is the Woman Who Bears Her Unplanned Baby

  • Delivering a Slice of Humble Pie {Our Birth Story Part 3}

    This is Part 3 of our birth story! Be sure to read Part 1 and Part 2 here!

    My husband will emphatically tell you that we will NEVER, EVER do that again! He is all for the “let’s just plan for an epidural” route next time – if there is a next time.

    I half don’t blame him. After I received the epidural it was actually kind of fun. After we napped, with the lights off mind you, we just sat around and talked and even laughed between contractions.

    For the first time I understood why women don’t go the natural route. 

    My eyes were opened. 

    Our Birth Story Part 3 (more…)

  • Delivering a Slice of Humble Pie {Our Birth Story Part 2}

    This is Part 2 of our birth story. Please read Part 1 here! Tomorrow I will share Part 3 and tell you where I am now in my thoughts on natural childbirth!

    Even though I was going to have to be induced, I did not want Pitocin. I knew it would make a natural birth unbearable with pain, and my plan was still to have a natural, water birth. I received another medication to induce my labor, and so it began.

    I labored in the water. I labored in the bed. I labored on the birthing ball. And I labored some more.

    It was hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. And each contraction pushed out a little more of my pride. I was helpless.

    Our Birth Story Part 2 (more…)

  • Delivering a Slice of Humble Pie {Our Birth Story Part 1}

    This is part 1 of our birth story. Read part 2 here and part 3 here.

    No one can prepare you for some things in life no matter many books, magazine articles or blog posts your read, how many words of wisdom your grandmother, mother, or best friend gives you, or how many times you play and replay the sequence of upcoming events in your mind.

    A smile before it got ugly!

    (more…)

  • Grace on a Little Plastic Stick

    I walked out of the bathroom, the plastic stick now showing two lines and predestining the rest of my life still sitting on the counter next to the sink, and I began to pace.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Saying, “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness”, louder with each lap trying to make what I just learned was growing inside of me would sink in and I would really believe it.

    Grace on a Little Plastic Stick (more…)